we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
