I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
