I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
