They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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