Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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