Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
