maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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