Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize