So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
