best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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