No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize