Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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