White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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