I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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