i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
