is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
