Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
