hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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