the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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