I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
