Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
