There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
