fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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