areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it was like eating out sand paper
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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