What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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