i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
