He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
