The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
