Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Send help, water and tortillas.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
