drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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