pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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