Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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