Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
