sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
