Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
