There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think my fart just growled at me.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
