ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
