Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We're too hungover to prance.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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