There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
