You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
