Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
