I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is wine microwaveable?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
