I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She announced her abortion via fbk
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i think im in europe. pls send help
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize