U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
