it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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