Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
