life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
