Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
