i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
