so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
