thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
