In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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