We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
