a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
