I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
