You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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