69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
