i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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