Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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