Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
